I am frazzled. Our wedding is next Friday. My thesis-ing is not getting done in any sort of timely manner. And to top it all off, we just moved this past weekend. My new room at some friends’ house is much smaller than my old one, and because I’m only here for a few months, there is little motivation to invest in anything to make it more conducive to holding my things. (The closet is too tiny!) So…things are messy, chaotic. Mainly though, I find myself slipping into thoughts of how, even though I’m getting married next week, the week after that Jon has to return to England. It’s hard to keep my chin up. As he points out, this is the last time we’ll have to be separated. I’m graduating soon after all, and obviously I’m very busy, so things will go quickly this fall. However, that doesn’t really make me feel much better. And then I maintain a level of grumpiness that is completely uncalled for, and snap a lot at my soon-to-be wedded spouse. There is no real solution for this. The whole idea that “you should enjoy the time you have” and “oh-well don’t think about him leaving! that’s too far away!” are trite and completely unhelpful. Because he is leaving and I can’t NOT think about that very large, looming date. In sum…I’m having a completely selfish emotional breakdown of sorts. And it’s not cool. So instead of doing what I should do, bucking up, getting my shit together and enjoying the count down to the big day with my dude, I fell down the rabbit hole of internet. 1950s kool-aid commercial anyone?