Seagulls versus buckeyes

Lately I have been attempting to come to terms with the confusing level of anxiety that I feel anytime I am out and about around here. Last night while I was falling asleep it sort of hit me-I have no real friends here, so I consistently feel like I have to be “on”. And I suck at being “on”, for the most part. And every night when we come home, I worry about what impression I have left on others-whether I got too loud, or too opinionated or was a total asshole, as I sometimes am. I like the people here, and while I feel pretty comfortable with everyone that I do know and everyone that we do hang out with, there’s not that deep level of comfort that I have with people I’ve known for years and years, and who have seen me at my best and worst and everywhere in between. It’s harder than I thought, because there is no reunion on the horizon with my old life where I know I won’t feel this way anymore. image

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Anyway, yesterday there was beer, and conveyor-belt sushi, and avoiding football (soccer) fans  at every turn (did you know the local Brighton team is called the Seagulls? Because they are. Ca-caw!) And there was a reunion with an expat lady friend who I haven’t seen since we took international studies and/or french classes back at Ohio State! She beat me to the immigrating lifestyle and has been making herself a home in London now for the past three years, complete with tall English boyfriend and fabulous social media career. It was so nice seeing a familiar face and discussing all the minutia of moving from midwest America and sweet sweet Ohio to the oh-so-different England, where you can’t buy cornmeal at a regular grocery store. image

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Conveyor belt sushi is the best and worst, in that it is so hard to stop grabbing plates, and that shit adds up in bill form. Thanks Yo Sushi. image

Ariel! Come back to Brighton anytime (maybe in the spring or summer would be a good choice-we can sit on rocky beaches and laugh at English people!)image

 

7 thoughts on “Seagulls versus buckeyes

  1. momma

    my sweet sweet daughter don’t feel like you don’t fit in! everyone who comes in contact with you loves you! don’t ever change the way you are people will love you no matter what. Things are different now, you are an adult and away from everyone you were raised with but its ok to be anxious. I love you and when you need to talk momma is always a heartbeat away! xoxoxo

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  2. Ariel Seeking

    Dude – it was amaze seeing you and you’ll always have a friend here in Eng-er-land! Lolz at us having matching tall British men, maybe they have those in the grocery stores 🙂

    I guess Memorial Day/ the 4th are the next big Amurrica holidays, but we will deffo get together – and make cornbread haha. xxx

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