I want to write this down because it is a feeling that I wish to remember.
In my cynicism as I get older,at times I feel like there aren’t as many wonderful things waiting for me as I thought when I was a young ultra-optimist. That the good things in life are so far between one another and come from so much hardship and worry that I forget that they exist, and I am swept along on an unfeeling tide of grumpy drudgery, complaining about a life that doesn’t have as much to complain about as I think it does. Most of the time.
Yesterday was a reminder that sometimes, a piece of paper is just a piece of paper, but what it signifies really IS something more. I worked hard and it wasn’t just for me, but for my family, and my future, and the new family that I’m making with my husband, and their future too. And maybe I don’t agree with the fact that that’s the way the world works right now, but that’s okay too. Seeing the happiness in my parents’ eyes (all four of them) and taking pictures outside within a sea of other graduates and their families, I was reminded of how interconnected this whole thing is. We support each other. We love each other.
Obviously Jon couldn’t come to the ceremony yesterday. In fact, he’ll get here next Wednesday, at 11pm, and once he gets off that plane we will technically never have to part ever again, unless we want to. In a puff of smoke our long distance relationship will be over and our life together will truly begin, and for that I am so thankful. But yesterday, he was still there with me. And I want to remember how, as I walked across the stage, was handed that piece of paper and walked down the ramp back to my seat, I could wave to him on the camera, and that husband of mine was actually watching! He saw me wave, he saw me say “hi jon” and when he texted me right after to say that he did, I couldn’t stop the tears. It was a moment that I want to remember. The whole day was just…great. So this is me, attempting to remembering forever.